5 Signs You're Dating an Emotionally Unavailable Person

emotionally invested in a person, thinking it would lead to real, lasting romance.

True to my nature, I ignored every red flag, often reading into texts more then I should have. 

I played up situations in my mind, assuming the other person was on the same page.

This all changed last week, when I suddenly saw things clearly. 

I was infatuated: head over heals in the deep sea of lustland with an emotionally unavailable man. 

It seems I keep attracting the wrong men. 

After leaving a romantic relationship almost a year ago, I declared my self-single and happy, but secretly hoping my new love interest would take notice. 

Months later, I am still waiting for the man I thought could be The One to notice me. 

If you are waiting for anyone to change, or notice you, move on! Quickly, run away as fast as you can.

As Oprah says, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them." 

I painted pretty pictures of us moving to Hawaii together and living happily ever after with our golden retrievers and surf boards. 

I was jolted back to reality when 10 months later,  I am still waiting. In recognizing that I have been obsessed with emotionally unavailable men, I had to ask myself, Why am I attracted to men who aren’t ready to commit? Why do I keep repeating this pattern? 

My inner voice chimed in and said, "We only accept the love we think we deserve."

If you find yourself wrapped up in an emotionally unavailable person, it's okay. The best thing to do is get clear about your desires and let the person go. In doing this, you can make space for the right person. You are amazing and perfect just the way you are. Don't allow anyone in your life to make you feel different. 

Here are 5 signs that you may be attracted to an emotionally unavailable person.

1. You give more than you receive. 

When dating or investing your time with an emotional unavailable person you may find yourself giving a lot more then you get. Whether you buy gifts, pay for dinner ALL the time, or they never say thank you, you are really never going to see the return on your investment. Do not wait around hoping they will change and suddenly shower you with flowers, love and attention. Do yourself a favor and move on quickly.

2. They don't show up for you.

Whether you have a work event, a new promotion to celebrate or a book release party, if the person you care about isn't showing up to support you then they are emotionally closed off. People who really care will make it happen and show up for you...no matter what.

3. They are poor communicators.

If your love interest doesn’t pick up the phone or give you a clear answer when you talk this is a red flag. If they only use text message to communicate with you this is another red flag. 

4. They are full of excuses and indecisive.

If you try to make plans with an emotional unavailable person, it's like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands, slippery and frustrating. They may be busy, tired, stressed overworked, or broke .... Whatever the reason, their excuses mean they are not open to long lasting love or an intimate connection at this time. Move along.

5. They talk about their past A LOT.

If you find yourself in love with an emotional unavailable person, red flags pop up all the time. The one most women skip over is the way and how often they talk about their exes. If there is any animosity, anger or sadness surrounding their exes, they have not healed completely.

if you hate conflict, you might be happier single

There’s lots of research about how married people are, on the whole, happier and healthier than singles. And yet, there are more single people than ever before. So we can’t all be miserable, right? What kinds of people do just fine without a romantic relationship?

Those were the questions animating Yuthika Girme, a doctoral psychology student at the University of Auckland, and her colleagues in their study published last month. “It seemed really strange that all these single people would be miserable,” Girme said in a phone interview. “So we went on a hunt to find out who being single might actually be good for.”

First they studied about 200 undergraduate students, then looked at more than 4,000 New Zealanders ages 18 to 94. Their research found that singles who are conflict-averse (or “high in avoidance goals,” in the researchers’ terms) were just as happy as those in romantic relationships.
People who are high in avoidance goals try to avoid bad things happening to them. “It’s kind of like when people buy flowers for their girlfriend,” Girme notes, and the girlfriend’s first reaction is: “What did you do wrong?”

For these folks, the study found, “being single may offer benefits that protect against potential hurt and rejection in relationships.”
Of course those who are conflict-averse might still face hurt and rejection while single and dating, but any dissatisfaction appears to be more compartmentalized. “They’re unhappy because of the rejection,” Girme says, “rather than with their life more generally. Because they’re able to avoid relationship conflict by being single, they’re more happy with their lives.”

For example, if a high avoidance person goes on a date with someone who never calls for second date, he or she would view it as a good thing, Girme says. As in: If they’re going to act that way in a relationship, I’m probably avoiding a bad relationship.
“That motivation [to avoid conflict] does protect them in some way,” Girme says. “People’s avoidance goals protect them from the negative parts of a relationship.”

Most people are happier in relationships. But according to the study, that increase in happiness is starker for people who handle conflict well (“low avoidance”) and those who try to maximize closeness and bonding in all types of relationships (what the researchers deemed “high in approach goals”).
But folks who are conflict-averse tended to be happier single than they might be in relationships.

This Is Why Joker Is The Actual Hero Of The Dark Knight

 

This fan theory came courtesy of generalzee over at reddit, but the original theory was written by Jef Rouner over at The Houston Press. All spelling and grammar errors have been left.

Joker, although a lying psychopath, is actually the hero in The Dark Knight. Before the Joker, Gotham was a mess. Entire sections of the city were closed off due to madness, organized crime ran rampant, and the majority of important city officials were wildly corrupt. The city even tolerated a renegade vigilante who ran around wearing a rubber suit (Okay, special armor and carbon fiber, but they don't know that).
Along comes the Joker and by the end of a very short time, almost all organized crime was eliminated, many corrupt officials were imprisoned or dead, and the city's Vigilante even went into hiding for 8 years. This was all part of Joker's masterfully executed plan.
Everyone must realize that Joker, despite his claim otherwise, really was "The Man With The Plan" throughout the entire film. The very first thing we see Joker do is rob a mafia controlled bank, eliminating the entire team of expert bank robbers who helped him pull it off. Of course, the robbery wasn't about the money, it was about luring Lau out of hiding, preferably with all the major crime families' collective money.

This works beautifully, and as Joker predicts, Batman goes to Hong Kong to "Extradite" Lau. Now Lau is in a safe place which Joker can, amazingly, access with ease. This of course is all just the plot of the film, but Joker is playing it amazingly, murdering key criminals and corrupt officials that could help insulate those at the top. Dent actually argues FOR insulating the men on the top in the interest of cleaning the streets of lower-level goons, but Joker knows that won't work in the long-term.
At this point we honestly just have 3 men battling for Gotham's "soul" (as Joker puts it), but Dent and Wayne are simply playing into Joker's greater plan. This even extends to Joker's threats to destroy a hospital. With Batman and Gordon's help, Joker helps them root out corrupt police officials. Dent even kills some of those officials later in the film.
Gordon's promotion, too, did a major service to Gotham. I think a lot of people take the Joker's clapping during Gordon's promotion scene to be sarcastic, but I actually think that Joker believed in Gordon, one of the few officers on the force who was truly incorruptible.
So now Joker has a pretty clear path to getting rid of the Organized Crime problem and the corrupt officials problem, but the Vigilante problem remains. As we saw at the beginning of the film, Batman was inspiring other vigilantes, and a society cannot stand when each man takes his own justice. This symbol of fear and unbridled vengeance, as Joker sees it, needs to be stopped, but not Killed. If he were killed, he would just be a martyr, and his symbol would live on. Of course, since Dent was a far better symbol for the city, he would make a far better martyr.



I don't know if Joker actually intended for Harvey to be so physically scarred by the explosion from which Batman saved him, but I am certain that he wanted Harvey to feel the full pain of Rachel's death, which is why he purposely tells Batman to go to the wrong address. He knows what Rachel's death would do to Harvey psychologically, and that Batman would eventually have no choice but to kill Harvey. This breaks Batman psychologically, and also makes him a villain, a true villain, the kind that abandons his own principles. Batman now has no choice but to disappear, leaving his memory to fade into something of urban legend by the time of TDKR.
When we pick up in the next film we see a defeated Bruce Wayne who had retired 8 years prior. The city was safe and peaceful (until Bane shows up), and doesn't need constant vigilante justice to keep it safe. Joker shows Batman the error of his ways, but does so in a totally devastating way.
Even the display with the two boats at the film's climax only served to prove to the people of Gotham that they wouldn't turn on each other. He proved that there was good even in the most supposedly despicable of Gotham's inmates.

In the end Gotham is actually clean. It wasn't because of Harvey, who died too soon to do any good, except as a martyr, and it wasn't because of Batman who was ostracized and treated like the criminal such a vigilante truly is for 8 years. Gotham was safe because the Joker had cleaned up the streets. He eliminated the corrupt police, he destroyed organized crime financially, he uplifted Gotham's spirit, and he even got rid of the flying pest that had been corrupting Gotham ever since he declared himself it's protector.

6 Amazing Facts You Never Knew About Sea Turtles

Photo by Jody Watt/Design Pics/Corbis. Design by Erik Mace for Yahoo Travel.

This month, all over the southern U.S., Central America, and the Caribbean, thousands of tiny little sea turtle hatchlings are emerging from their eggs, digging their way to the surface of the sand, and scurrying down beaches to the ocean. We’re coming toward the end of sea turtle nesting season (March through October) in the western hemisphere, and there’s good news this year: Researchers say 2015 is shaping up to be a banner year for sea turtles from the Carolinas to Florida — their numbers have rebounded after a slump year, according to the Associated Press.

This season, I was lucky enough to participate in the yearly sea turtle conservation program at the Four Seasons Resort Nevis, which the hotel runs in conjunction with the Sea Turtle Conservancy (STC). (The 2016 dates are July 15-19; it’s not to be missed.) Along with David Godfrey, Executive Director at STC, local volunteer conservationists, and other resort guests, I spent hours each night walking Nevis’s beaches in the complete darkness (no flashlights allowed) hoping to see a sea turtle digging her nest and dropping her eggs. This year, we found two — Luna and Millie, both hawksbills. The turtles were tagged and released in order to help STC track them and gain valuable knowledge that will aid with future sea turtle conservation efforts. But more than just helping the cause and seeing the amazing sight of sea turtles nesting, I learned what fantastic creatures they are. Here are six amazing things you need to know about sea turtles.

1. There used to be millions of sea turtles in oceans around the world. Now there are thousands in limited areas.

This horrifying photo of tourists disturbing nesting sea turtles in Costa Rica is just one example of how we affect the amazing creatures. (Photo: Sea Turtle Conservancy/Facebook)

Some kinds of sea turtles have become extinct, and six of the surviving seven species are considered endangered. Unfortunately, it’s human behavior that’s obliterating them. Sure, before they are full-grown they have natural predators like sharks, but we’re the big problem. We encroach on their nesting beaches and hurt them and ruin their habitats with our excessive use of things like plastic and chemical sunblock. Additionally, while many nations have outlawed the international trade of seat turtles and sea turtle products (like real tortoise shell, which comes from sea turtles, not tortoises), in other places, it is not illegal to poach.

Related: 5 Ways Your Vacation Is Killing Sea Turtles 

2. Experts believe that sea turtles can live to be about 100 years old.

There is no good way to determine the age of sea turtles other than their growth rates and their size. Their age is important to understand, because it explains one of the reasons why they are so vulnerable, according to STC’s Godfrey. It takes sea turtles a long time to reach sexual maturity so that they can reproduce, maybe as long as 30 or 35 years. “There are so many obstacles to their survival before reach that age,” explains Godfrey. Therefore the adult sea turtle population is very valuable within the eco system, because it takes so long for them to get there. Then they can continue to lay eggs until they die. Once they are fully mature, sea turtles’ only real predators are humans.

3. Turtles have GPS. (Seriously!)

Turtle GPS? (Photo: Thinkstock) 

Sea turtles can sense the earth’s magnetic field, and that’s how they navigate. That basically means they have a built-in, high-tech GPS system, explains Godfrey. They detect the angle and the intensity of the field, which is unique every place on earth, and they use it to migrate very long distances — thousands of miles, in fact. They can find little islands in the middle of nowhere, says Godfrey. “That’s unbelievable for a reptile.”

Related: How to take the perfect Underwater Picture of a Sea Turtle 

4. Female sea turtles return to the exact beach where they were born to nest, no matter how far away they live.  

Thanks to their GPS, as well as some sort of map they are born with in their brains, female sea turtles return to their birth place to lay their eggs. Think about it: “These sea turtles only spent five minutes on the beach where they hatched, crawling down to the ocean,” explains Godfrey. They spent the next 30 or 35 years floating around the ocean [nesting is the only time they come on land], thousands of miles from where they were born. Yet they still find their way back to that very same beach after decades to lay their own eggs. “That’s why it’s so imp to protect their nesting habitats,” says Godfrey. “If 35 years later the beach where they were born is a bunch of condos, it’s a problem. They are driven to come back to the same site.”

5. Only 1 in 1,000 (and at times, possibly 1 in 10,000) baby sea turtles survive.

Hatchlings (Photo: Thinkstock)

Not only are the preyed upon by animals from raccoons to sharks, but development on the beaches where they are born can be deadly. When baby sea turtles hatch, they are drawn to the light, which is supposed to direct them in the direction of the ocean — an uninhabited beach will reflect the moon and stars off the water. However with development and lots of white lights, hatchlings get disoriented and often scurry in the wrong direction (away from the water towards the lights of civilization). If not redirected, they can easily die.

Related: Success! Nearly Extinct Sea Turtle Is Coming Back With the Help of Zoo

6. The sex of a baby sea turtle is determined by the temperature of the egg in which it was gestating.

More than that, the sex is determined by the temperature of the individual egg during a very small window of time during gestation. Cooler eggs (like those buried deeper down in the sand or more in the shade, become male. Warmer eggs, like those buried closer to the surface or in a sunnier area, become female. Due to global warming, experts are seeing an uptick in the number of female sea turtles born says Godfrey. (They’re not yet sure what this means for the well-being of the sea-turtle population in general.)

10 Amazing Natural Water Slides Better Than Any Water Park

You don’t have to spend your money in a fancy water park to have fun this summer. If you’re up for a little hiking, you can visit one of these amazing natural water slides.

Meadow Run, Ohiopyle State Park, Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania's Ohiopyle State Park offers more than 20,000 acres of gorgeous natural beauty, but if you want to swim you need to go to Meadow Run.

Slide Rock State Park, Arizona

Slide Rock is the most famous feature of Slide Rock State Park. The natural slide will deposit you into a swimming hole where you can cool off on any hot day.

Franconia Falls, White Mountain National Forest, New Hampshire

You can find more than one natural water slide around Franconia Falls. It's not hard to hike to the falls inside the White Mountain National Forest, so anyone can enjoy an easy day in the water.

These Kids Act Out What Their Parents Say To Them Everyday And It's HILARIOUS!

Being a parent is hard work and most parents can empathize with each other because they all go through the same trials everyday. All kids alike will try you on a daily basis, test your patience, and make you do things you don't want to do. Parent life is pretty similar in most homes. Hey parents? Wouldn't you love a break?


Well you got one! In this clip called "When Kids Say What Parents Say" by All Def Digital, the parents have retired and the kids take their place.

This kid is intense! She'll have you sweating and nervous. She might need anger management.

You've all said, "Because I said so that's why!"

When ya mama said your FIRST, MIDDLE, AND LAST NAME, you knew you were getting the business.

That moment when you're a parent and you claim that a whooping is gonna hurt you more than it hurts your kid! It's true though!